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This beautiful and seductive world we live in, and the
profound existence that is the reality of being a
member of the community in Addis Abeba, makes us
question our very convictions. This is despite
having gone through a lifetime of self-examination
to have reached them.
This reality teaches us, time and time again - sometimes
nicely and sometimes in not so nice a way - that
which runs in our veins, and puts its finger on the
pulse; that which we know is there but have not
taken the time to hear or feel. To put it mildly,
Addis has a way of putting people in their place and
reminding them of skins they have shed thinking that
they were too archaic or inhibiting. It brings us
back to being the Ethiopians that we had verbally
claimed we were but had never taken the time to
actually become.
The reason I start off with this indistinct contention is a
distinct observation that has persistently stuck in
my mind over the last couple of weeks. Although this
is something that I had been mulling over for a
while, it became even more apparent because of the
company that I have been keeping of late.
I, and those I choose to have around me, pride ourselves on
being original people that live our lives according
to the standards and values that we set for
ourselves. This is applicable to all aspects of our
lives, from the manner in which we dress to the
manner in which we speak and carry ourselves. It is
apparent in our physical bearing and the energies
that we project. It can be seen in our attitudes
towards the world and the manner in which we handle
the different situations that are brought before us
- social or otherwise.
We are who we want to be, or we are at least on our way to
becoming who we want to be.
This is the lie that we tell ourselves everyday.
We think we are our own people, although when we actually
take the time to asses the things that we say make
us ourselves, they do not exist anymore. They have
been watered down or destroyed altogether. It is not
a process that we recognize as it is taking place,
but rather so slow and subtle an occurrence that we
do not even recognize its having taken place until
the mutation is complete. We find a less dramatic
and more in-tune person looking back at us in the
mirror.
Actually, it is an issue of bringing a person back down to
size and teaching them the fundamentals of being
Ethiopian; one main point being a conservative
bearing and a toning down of all the things that
have the power to make an individual stand out. We
are a society of assimilators, more specifically
superficial assimilators. Our façade has to appear
in cohesion with all the others around us so as not
to create unnecessary attention and for fear of
developing a reputation simply because we do not fit
in with the rest of the herd.
Even if it is not something that we may care to admit, I
have seen it happen time and time again. There is no
better case and point than myself.
Whether we like to disillusion ourselves and claim that the
societal acceptance that we do not gain because of
our different ways do not play a role in making us
abandon those very same facets of our identity that
make us that way; what we do have to admit is that
Ethiopian society, for the most part, is a very
judgemental one.
People judge you on your family background; on your level
of education; what you do for a living; your
friends; the places you go to; the way you dress;
and your personal care habits. If you are not on
point with just about everything, then you are
deemed this or that, and the paths that you were
hoping to go down in your life may not be as
accessible as they were before.
Although your personal moral convictions may not allow you
to adhere to such superficial requisites, the fact
still remains that to be a proactive member of
Ethiopian society you have to at least play the game
by the local rules. You have to put on a face that
is not necessarily yours, but will make it much
easier for you to make it through the day. This is
the nature of the world that we live in.
As much as I would like to admit that this is not the best
way to do things, the truth of the matter is the
best way and the Ethiopian way have nothing to do
with each other. This is the great life lesson that
you learn while trying to navigate life in Addis, or
life in any other town in this country, for that
matter. |
