|
I want to respectfully invite us all to have great
conversations. Conversations that are powerful and
life-giving. Conversations that stimulate our
brains, warm our hearts and point to endless
possibilities and opportunities. As we interact
through language and words, we shape our culture
through our conservations.
We can have conversations that entrench our
assumptions and trap us in a deficit mode which in
turn reinforce our culture of acrimony, adversity
and polarity. Or, we can have conversations that
give life, that value different perspectives and
promote norms of tolerance and mutual understanding.
I want to invite us to move away from argumentative
conversations that aim at scoring points or imposing
one's will on others. I would like to see us shift
towards conversations that invite opinions and
appreciate differences as sources of energy and
dynamism.
When we engage in conversations, I want us to think
of the words and ideas in terms of giving and
receiving gifts. Often, when we receive a gift
wrapped in a box, we are excited and eager to unwrap
and unpack the box and marvel at its content.
Conversely, we take pains to pick the best gift item
that the intended recipient of our offer would most
appreciate.
What will be different if we display the same
concern and carefully choose the words we employ in
our conversation and take the time to unpack what
others are saying to us and listen to their words in
the way that they would like to be heard?
The result, I think, would be that we will have a
great conversation. I think we would move away from
the "I win; you lose!" state of mind to a
'both-gain' scenario. This will allow us to engage
with one another with curiosity and foster in us a
willingness to listen to those that hold different
views, opinions and ideas.
Listening to those with different perspective does
not always mean we have to agree with them or
endorse their perspective. It only means that if we
happen to disagree with them it would be in a way
that does not silence or stamp a label on them.
Invariably, labelling creates a dichotomous psyche
of "us and them" that forces one to be judgmental
with no space for exploring a common ground.
I hope that you will agree with me that, if
unenviable, we have done a great job in embedding
the habit of labelling in our pattern of public
conversation. Over the years we have cultivated a
culture in which the courage of one's conviction is
measured by how harshly one demolishes and dismisses
the beliefs that others hold. In this culture, any
effort aimed at reaching a common ground is labelled
as weakness, reflective of infirmness in one's
convictions and beliefs.
The interesting challenge, it seems to me, is how we
can remain true and committed to what we believe in
and create an atmosphere to work with others without
demanding them to abandon theirs beliefs; and
without feeling threatened by the differences that
others bring into the equation. An atmosphere, as it
were, where no one is shut out on account of their
opinion but where each concerned individual can
contribute for a life-giving outcome based on a
consciously built common ground.
We are a nation of written and unwritten history
that is traceable to ancient times that features
periods and legacies that we must honour and build
on as we journey into the future. We are also a
nation of profound articulation skilled in
communicating our ideas not only in plain words but
through the trope of 'Wax and Gold'.
I want us to build on this heritage, but not as a
devise to hide what one means that leads to
suspicion that there is always a secret meaning to
everything - the stuff that that makes one
vulnerable to conspiracy theory - but as a potential
tool that allows us to express the plurality of
meaning and multiplicity of reality.
Indeed, we must come to recognise that there is no
one unchanging reality but layers of realties that
are shaped by the language we use and recreated by
our conversations. Such a light-touch approach to
what we perceive as hard and frozen will allow us to
listen to one another to reach a common ground
without negating our beliefs and repudiating the
views of our partners in conversation. Cheers to
great conversations!
|
